If you’ve read my post over the past few weeks you’ll know that I was recently on the wrong end of a breakup in a manner of speaking. It wasn’t what I wanted, but in many ways it was exactly what I needed. I had to be at the hospital Friday morning at 8 am for a follow up examination. I had worked late the night before which meant I had only gotten a little under 6 hours sleep. The doctor told me everything was perfect, which is always comforting to hear. I made my way from the hospital to the gym at work. I was going to do a cardio workout prior to meeting with one of our personal trainers to go over a training routine he had built for me. I mention the above for some context. I was tired but had gotten some good news and was otherwise in good spirits.
I was at the Lionel-Groulx metro station waiting for the orange line train headed in the Montmorency direction. I was at the very head of the train as it pulled into the station, listening to my music in my own little bubble. The doors opened and a flood of people exited. I made my way in with backpack full of my gym gear and lunch. I walked to the area in between the cars, turned around and leaned against the wall when I suddenly I notice a beautiful woman who had entered the car behind me point to one of the free seats and offer it to me with a kind smile. I pulled out my earphone and politely answered in French “C’est gentil, merci” (loosely translates to “that’s nice of you”) while I shook my head to indicate I wouldn’t take the seat. We both ended up in the same area, facing each other in between the cars. I couldn’t help but notice her warm smile as she checked messages on her phone. She was an beautiful woman.
The train continued to chug along the orange line making the regular stops while I listened to my music and stole glances of this girl. Her act of offering me the seat had caught me off guard and surprised me in a positive way. Just a stranger offering a seat, a random act of politeness and courtesy.
Over the past month I’ve been making the effort to over come resistance when I encounter it. I’ve started to make a game of it. Resistance is now my friend. Whenever that little voice inside my head suddenly begins to make excuses I acknowledge it by saying “Oh, hello resistance” and then try to over come it. Often times just starting a task is the hardest part. Once you’ve begun, finishing it or putting a certain amount of time on the task almost comes naturally.
As mentioned in previous posts I’ve also been making the effort to socialize more over the past several months.
I never approach women in public. In our day and age there is so much that causes me to hesitate before doing so. In my mind there was a fight between wanting to approach her and the resistance comprised of a multitude of excuses and reasons why I shouldn’t. Finally I told myself what is the worse that could happen? I’ll get rejected and possibly told to fuck off. What could be the best outcome? I took a deep breath.
I approached her and said “excusez-moi mademoiselle, je voulais simplement prendre un instant pour vous dire que vous avez un joli sourire.” (Loosely transates to “excuse me miss, I just wanted to take a moment to say you have a pretty smile”. She answered “thank you, that’s very nice” while another smile appeared on her face. I then followed up by asking her if perhaps she would like to join me for a coffee. Once again she smiled and with what seemed like a little hesitation answered “C’est gentil, mais j’ai un copain” (That’s really nice, but I have a boyfriend). I smiled, wished her a nice day and she did the same.
The train was now pulling up to my destination. I slung my backpack onto my shoulders, put my headphones back in and got ready to step out. I was standing in front of the metro doors, facing the glass windows. The girl was still sitting behind me. As the train slowed while approaching the station we once again made eye contact in the reflection of the train door window. Another smile appeared on both of our faces as she waved a short “good bye, have a nice day”.
I don’t think I had caused her any discomfort in the way I approached her. I had made the effort and overcome my initial reticence and resistance. I had been rejected yet I was still left with a nice warm feeling about the whole exchange.
The scene of her waving to me in the reflection with a small smile on her face lifted my spirits. I believe I have may have brightened her day a little bit as well.
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It’s going to be a great 2019.
mtl_dokkaebi
